Vibes

Mumbai ki na Delhi walon ki; Pinky hai paise walon ki, went the song. For a moment he wondered who Pinky was -and if she had anything to do with him. After much contemplation, he gave up.

“Maybe I am trying too soon. I should observe some more before I try to make sense of this”, he thought.

This wasn’t exactly supposed to be a party, but over the years it had slowly turned into one – sans the alcohol, but the music was unmistakable. A DJ with his setup was on a truck, pandering to the live audiences’ demands and gesturing them to jump with him.

It wasn’t his birthday, he wasn’t getting married and neither was he being promoted on a job, but the crowd directly in front of his eyes, dancing like there’s no tomorrow, suggested otherwise. He wished he could travel back in time. Overwhelmed by nostalgia, he closed his eyes and reminisced the days of old – less pandemonium, more purpose. He liked it that way. But not all of his modern day followers necessarily agreed.

He looked forward to this short visit every year. Most of all, he loved his people. Welcomed in millions of homes around the world, he admired some of them for simply believing in him – he who could slay every obstacle there was or could possibly be. With a heart full of gratitude, he eventually left – promising his followers to come back whilst also keeping an eye out for them from afar.

Not everyone could let him stay for ten days, and he understood. Life was way busier now than it was more than four hundred years ago – when a career wasn’t as pressing a reality as it is today. He was first welcomed by a ruler in the early 1600s –the ruler who was loved by his people then, and is fondly admired by his people even today.

Time flew when he was here. Ten days felt like a few fleeting moments.

As he made his made his way to the sea on each of the immersion days, he wondered if the floating objects were offerings he could take along.

“I don’t really need those.”

As idol after idol was immersed, he followed the trail to each of them. Floating flowers would return to the shore at high tides and make the beach look like an eyesore at low tides, he knew. And although he wished he could clean it all by himself, he feared that taking it easy on his people would only encourage them further.

“I should let them see the filth and decide for themselves.”

He was proud of most of them for using eco-friendly idols. But some didn’t, and in addition to a little money, they paid a price that seemingly didn’t affect anything or anyone right then. Little did they know that it would all come back to haunt them some day. The planet’s predicament would soon be appalling. It already was, but there was more on the horizon.

The God of wisdom was surprised by the lack of it here – dispersing it among an educated few wasn’t anywhere close to being a quick fix. A change in attitudes was the only thing that would really work.

“There will be a day when these people will expect me to save them from a calamity more self-made than natural. What will I do then? Will my principles still hold? What if lives are lost?”

It was unusual for someone of his stature to be in a dilemma. But he was in one now – all thanks to his unruly followers. They had already ruined the very waters at their shores, but an end was nowhere in sight. It was something they clearly saw, yet chose to unsee. Karma loomed large.

He spent the next 365 days missing his followers and hoping that the next year wouldn’t be as messy as the one gone by. They were mortals after all. And they could take more time to learn – certainly more than the average God.

As the 366th day dawned, he awoke with renewed hope.

He could hear some music in the distance. Excitedly, he jumped out of bed and called out to his mouse. Halfway through, he still couldn’t hear it clearly but it was louder.

ganesha-on-mouse

Straining his ears, he heard the words, DJ wale babu..

“Turn around”, he said, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“I would rather catch up on some more sleep.”

Black and Yellow

Here in Mumbai, we are all too familiar with the colors black and yellow.

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And the ruckus raised by vehicles donning these colors, their infamous drivers and unions keeps making it to the headlines at regular intervals. I am one of the many citizens of Mumbai who have taken an acute dislike for these occurrences. Mind you, I wasn’t always this way.

As a kid who was ferried to and from school in an auto rickshaw, I wasn’t conditioned to despise them.But as I grew up to start traveling around the city by myself, I realized that successfully getting into an auto/taxi to anywhere could be a whole new ball game. The power dynamics at play blew my mind. No prizes for guessing though – I didn’t stay amused for long.

Every time I get refused, I have this urge to give them a high five –in the face, with a brick. But wouldn’t that be inhuman bordering on illegal? Every time I consider doing it or get frustrated, I also wonder why I waste my time getting all worked up. For all I know, they do not give a damn and just go about their day rather merrily. It might also fill them with a false sense of pride – you know, to wholly be in control of where they go whenever they choose to and to not give two hoots about what happens with your life post the refusal.

That’s not to say all the cabbies or auto riders are errant. Let’s say it’s roughly 70% of them (Am I being too lenient? Let me know).

There are two things the black and yellows can really do to successfully compete with private cabbies –

  1. Acknowledge the existence of the word ‘yes’:

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Say yes for a change. The very reduction in the number of passengers being refused could divert half of the uber/ola faithful to the black and yellows.

  1. Rent better cabs:

Who wouldn’t fancy going around in a Hyundai i10 as opposed to a worn out Premier Padmini?

267  vs. i10 Taxi2

Better cars = Happier Customers = More Customers = More Income = Happier Cabbies

Hiring a cab is an event that can unfold in a number of ways..

Around the world, refusals aren’t the norm. You would never come across a taxi driver refusing customers saying, “Arey lekin mujhe idhar nahin, udhar jaana hai” or “Abhi gas bharne jaana hai” while in Tokyo or New York. It’s pretty routine that way – Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > off to destination.

The routine in Mumbai is rarely, if ever, the same. It could be like any of the following depending on a person’s luck/ astrological chart / destiny / determination/ persistence:

Case I:

Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > off to destination.

This event is as rare as an elephant in Antarctica (and is often considered hypothetical).

Case II:

Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > driver refuses > passenger requests > driver refuses > passenger requests > driver refuses > passenger begs > driver agrees > off to destination

Case III:

Passenger approaches taxi > Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver looks the other way and drives off without a response> Passenger feels like an idiot

Case IV:

Passenger approaches taxi >Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver refuses > Passenger threatens to take the driver to a police station for refusing>Driver doesn’t say a word > off to destination

Case V:

Passenger approaches taxi > Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver refuses > Passenger leaves fuming > Somehow finds another cab > Lodges a complaint about the driver on RTO’s website> Hopes and prays the driver is punished or at least warned > Never gets any response with regard to the complaint > Same old miserable feeling!

No wonder every Mumbaikar has learned to make-do with the situation.

Inconveniencing thousands of Mumbaikars and subjecting passengers to hostile treatment will never do these guys any favors. Ola and Uber will do better than usual every time they stay off roads – Protesting against a service only to increase its demand is the epitome of irony!

When will they learn? Sooner than later I hope.

Reasons Why Driving In Mumbai Is NOT A Pain In The Right Place

They say, if you can drive in Mumbai, you can do it anywhere else in the world. Damn right! 

1. Lane Discipline:

lane-indiscipline

As drivers/riders, we are staunch followers of lane discipline. The thought of inconveniencing another driver by changing lanes with no initial warning, never crosses our minds. We use our turn indicators at all times.

[Special mention: The rickshaw guy who put on his left indicator and turned right. *Mah Lyf, Mah Rules!* #ThugLife]

2. We obey traffic lights:

Of course we do! Don’t we? We know that Green stands for go, Orange stands for go faster and Red stands for try your best to get through against all odds.

3. Driving Tests Are Never Easy:

The driving tests at our RTOs are so tough to crack. Seriously! Isn’t going a few meters ahead and a few in reverse the toughest thing a driver can do?

4. All of Mumbai Is A Silent Zone To Our Drivers:

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If there’s one thing a Mumbaikar with his vehicle on the road thoroughly hates – its the honking. In fact, we don’t honk at all. It doesn’t matter if the lights are red or green, or if some driver brushes another’s ego the wrong way by changing lanes in front of him/her, or if traffic rules cease to exist for his/her convenience. Silence is golden! 

5. We Know Why High Beams Exist (Or do we?):

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Most roads in Mumbai are well lit. So most drivers know that the low beam is enough and there is NO point using the high beam. We are wise enough to know that blinding oncoming traffic could have undesirable consequences.

(For more information on the high beam, the low beam and their uses depending on the situation, click here.)

6. Our Pedestrians Are The Best: 

Mumbai June 04 :- Huge numbers of people using short-cut for road crossing opp/near IMC Building, Churchgate in Mumbai. ( pic by Ravindra Zende )

We as pedestrians only try to cross the road when the vehicles have a red light. Also, pedestrian signals exist and we never fail to look at them before rushing to the other side. NEVER. And yes, we were told that zebra crossings exist in school.

7. You Shall Never Be Bullied By A Truck/Bus Driver:

Drivers at the wheel in trucks and buses are very cautious on the road. They stay in their lanes and don’t bully other drivers/riders by threatening to hit them. Besides, they’re never drunk and won’t ever come speeding at you when you least expect them to.

Think you can add to this? Have your say.