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Diwali Rhymes

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diwali

It’s that time of the year again,
When the order of the day is all joy and no pain.

It’s the time for festivities and bright lights.
As they all gleam in reds, yellows and whites.

You’ve had your share of sweets, and yet there are more.
Eat just one apiece or it’s calories galore.

The nights are brighter than they’ve ever been.
The lights dance around and windows have a sheen.

Your relatives come in, and you have a good time.
You share a laugh with your cousins – your partners in crime.

A long lost friend drops in a cheerful greeting.
‘It’s been ages’, you say, and schedule a meeting.

And amid all the joy you hear a bang.
A hundred decibels! – your eardrums feel a pang.

For a minute or two, you can’t hear a thing.
The kid who lights another feels like a king.

The usual air is suddenly an all engulfing smoke.
Breathing seconds ago, you now begin to choke.

Your cringe and curse with both fists clenched.
‘I wish it rains’, you say, so his crackers get drenched.

The rain God laughs and mocks your desire.
You awkwardly look away; he’s fighting fire with fire.

Looking around you hope to find a sensible soul.
Saving the planet you realise, is a lonely role.

Endless amounts of trash strewn all over.
You hope and pray they wouldn’t stoop any lower.

You summon Lord Ram with a desperate yelp.
‘I am sorry’, he says. I am not a lot of help.

And looking down from your balcony, you helplessly sigh.
You hear nature whisper, ‘Stop or die.’

Vibes

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Mumbai ki na Delhi walon ki; Pinky hai paise walon ki, went the song. For a moment he wondered who Pinky was -and if she had anything to do with him. After much contemplation, he gave up.

“Maybe I am trying too soon. I should observe some more before I try to make sense of this”, he thought.

This wasn’t exactly supposed to be a party, but over the years it had slowly turned into one – sans the alcohol, but the music was unmistakable. A DJ with his setup was on a truck, pandering to the live audiences’ demands and gesturing them to jump with him.

It wasn’t his birthday, he wasn’t getting married and neither was he being promoted on a job, but the crowd directly in front of his eyes, dancing like there’s no tomorrow, suggested otherwise. He wished he could travel back in time. Overwhelmed by nostalgia, he closed his eyes and reminisced the days of old – less pandemonium, more purpose. He liked it that way. But not all of his modern day followers necessarily agreed.

He looked forward to this short visit every year. Most of all, he loved his people. Welcomed in millions of homes around the world, he admired some of them for simply believing in him – he who could slay every obstacle there was or could possibly be. With a heart full of gratitude, he eventually left – promising his followers to come back whilst also keeping an eye out for them from afar.

Not everyone could let him stay for ten days, and he understood. Life was way busier now than it was more than four hundred years ago – when a career wasn’t as pressing a reality as it is today. He was first welcomed by a ruler in the early 1600s –the ruler who was loved by his people then, and is fondly admired by his people even today.

Time flew when he was here. Ten days felt like a few fleeting moments.

As he made his made his way to the sea on each of the immersion days, he wondered if the floating objects were offerings he could take along.

“I don’t really need those.”

As idol after idol was immersed, he followed the trail to each of them. Floating flowers would return to the shore at high tides and make the beach look like an eyesore at low tides, he knew. And although he wished he could clean it all by himself, he feared that taking it easy on his people would only encourage them further.

“I should let them see the filth and decide for themselves.”

He was proud of most of them for using eco-friendly idols. But some didn’t, and in addition to a little money, they paid a price that seemingly didn’t affect anything or anyone right then. Little did they know that it would all come back to haunt them some day. The planet’s predicament would soon be appalling. It already was, but there was more on the horizon.

The God of wisdom was surprised by the lack of it here – dispersing it among an educated few wasn’t anywhere close to being a quick fix. A change in attitudes was the only thing that would really work.

“There will be a day when these people will expect me to save them from a calamity more self-made than natural. What will I do then? Will my principles still hold? What if lives are lost?”

It was unusual for someone of his stature to be in a dilemma. But he was in one now – all thanks to his unruly followers. They had already ruined the very waters at their shores, but an end was nowhere in sight. It was something they clearly saw, yet chose to unsee. Karma loomed large.

He spent the next 365 days missing his followers and hoping that the next year wouldn’t be as messy as the one gone by. They were mortals after all. And they could take more time to learn – certainly more than the average God.

As the 366th day dawned, he awoke with renewed hope.

He could hear some music in the distance. Excitedly, he jumped out of bed and called out to his mouse. Halfway through, he still couldn’t hear it clearly but it was louder.

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Straining his ears, he heard the words, DJ wale babu..

“Turn around”, he said, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“I would rather catch up on some more sleep.”

And Away He Went

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“Would it be sinister to wish it rained while people were out with their crackers and to pray that all their fireworks get drenched in the process?” Ram wondered.

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After a hard-fought battle in Lanka, all he ever wanted was a moment of respite, some time with his friends and family alongside some good food – after all, the exile didn’t have much on offer for the average foodie. But Ram’s return back home to Ayodhya was anything but that.

All he heard these days was a cacophony of fireworks. He was living in a haze, quite literally. And what about all the family time? Well, if only he could see them amongst endless plumes of smoke. Life post-war was miserable.

He headed outside for a walk the next morning. “14 years since I took a morning walk for leisure”, he thought. “I’ve looked forward to this day for so long.”

And as he set foot outside, a few appalling sightings awaited him. With bits of paper strewn everywhere, used fireworks scattered all over the place he felt sorry for all that had transpired the previous evening. Eventually, his mind drifted back to the battle with his ten-headed nemesis, the infamous kidnapper of his beloved wife, Lanka’s all prevailing ruler and his consequent triumph. He recalled how eager he was to come home and celebrate with his countrymen.

“Bloody hell! Something doesn’t feel right.” He had heard that victories were supposed to be sweet. But this win was bordering on nauseous now.

“How on earth am I supposed to explain this to people?”

An hour later, he was back home – still troubled by his thoughts. He was trying to think of a solution, but he couldn’t come up with one. He knew that for every argument he put forth, the public would have a counter – he had heard so from Maruti, a close friend who was in sync with the times.

Ram was old-school. Maruti was the exact opposite. He hated missing out on time at the gym, for fitness was his foremost concern. Besides, he was familiar with the perils of outrage on social media. He didn’t have any profiles online, but he’d heard and read enough to know it all. To add to it, intolerance had suddenly become the buzzword. “The last thing I’d ever want is for people to call this intolerance and add fuel to the fire”, Maruti had said.

They had begun to lose hope. They saw no way out. Leaving the country wouldn’t look good, they thought. People would call them traitors. But again, if they went out and made a name for themselves anyway, people wouldn’t have any qualms exclaiming that they were extremely proud to be their compatriots. The double-sided nature of everything in their homeland had set their heads spinning. At that moment, they looked at each other and nodded their heads.

Each knew what the other had meant to say. A week later, Ram packed his bags and prepared to leave with Sita in tow.

“Where to?” asked Laxman.

Ram didn’t answer continued to walk towards the door.

“Where the hell are you going?” Laxman exclaimed again – this time, a little louder.

“I don’t know. Call this a world tour if you like. I haven’t decided where I might stay. Until then, expect me to keep traveling till I see no traces of smoke, until real fog supplants the smog, until I hear no other cacophony than the calls of a hundred birds. All the unnecessary commotion here is not what I fought for. I beat the living daylights out of Ravan to confirm that good overpowers evil. That light transcends darkness – not smoke blinds one and all or random explosions deafen everyone”, Ram responded.

And just like that, Ram went back into exile.

Jollification (Or is it?)

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The festive season is upon us again. And the fervour is here to stay.

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You can sense happy vibes all around – the accompanying cheer is what makes them all so special, after all.

Growing up has changed my perspective on festivals in more ways than one. From being an out and out dancer in idol processions, to being my laid-back self now –a brief account of what has shaped these changes:

1. The Music:

So you need a reason to sing and dance? Let’s pretend to celebrate the next festival in line.

Drums would still be okay with me. But how on earth can you justify having a DJ playing an item song in an idol procession?

God doesn’t give two hoots about a Chikni Chameli or a Mary for all I know.

Seriously brothers, we need to reconsider this.

2. Contributions:

It’s an opportunity for every local to contribute to the celebrations. But let’s try to not make it seem desperate.

I personally believe that the amount to be paid is the sole discretion of the donor. Let them decide how generous they can be for themselves.

In the end, as long as they truly feel for the cause, no amount is small.

 3. Mass Inconvenience:

This is a special characteristic as far as my current locality is concerned.

The route to my place is a network of streets that are as narrow as they come. And when you decide to block one of them so that you can play garba/dandiya on the street, you’ve clearly lost your mind.

And being asked to take a U-turn and not go home just because your car won’t be able to get through is just the beginning. Hello folks? I live there for God’s sake.

4. The Consent (or the lack of it):

Bura na maano holi hai!

If you say this and expect me to not react when you throw a water-balloon at me, you would be very disappointed. If we are friends, we would probably still get along fine post this debacle.

But what if we aren’t even acquaintances, let alone friends?

5. Bans:

It’s your festival and you have every right to celebrate it. But, to force your commandments onto others is insensitive. Last time I checked, we were still a democracy. And to curtail others’ freedoms for no good is an attempt to try and move away from being one.

6. The Commotion:

I have never been a fan of all the commotion. Multitasking isn’t my strongest suit and blaring loudspeakers trying to distract me from any task at hand have always put me off.

To limit one’s to joviality to oneself is acceptable. Trust me. No one’s going to be mad at you. Not even God.

7.Traffic Snarls:

These are times when moving from A to B in your city can be a pain. You would rather just sit at home than be outside moving at a snail’s pace.

I know and appreciate that festivals are a part of the identity of our richly-diverse nation. They aren’t just opportunities to celebrate our culture but also for people to come together.

If only we had studied enough history, we would know it was all Lokmanya Tilak had in mind when he reformed and preached the idea of a Ganesh Utsav back in 1894 – he never thought about bans and mass inconvenience. Makes you wonder why all of this happening now?

Are festivals losing their true meaning amid all the hype?

Black and Yellow

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Here in Mumbai, we are all too familiar with the colors black and yellow.

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And the ruckus raised by vehicles donning these colors, their infamous drivers and unions keeps making it to the headlines at regular intervals. I am one of the many citizens of Mumbai who have taken an acute dislike for these occurrences. Mind you, I wasn’t always this way.

As a kid who was ferried to and from school in an auto rickshaw, I wasn’t conditioned to despise them.But as I grew up to start traveling around the city by myself, I realized that successfully getting into an auto/taxi to anywhere could be a whole new ball game. The power dynamics at play blew my mind. No prizes for guessing though – I didn’t stay amused for long.

Every time I get refused, I have this urge to give them a high five –in the face, with a brick. But wouldn’t that be inhuman bordering on illegal? Every time I consider doing it or get frustrated, I also wonder why I waste my time getting all worked up. For all I know, they do not give a damn and just go about their day rather merrily. It might also fill them with a false sense of pride – you know, to wholly be in control of where they go whenever they choose to and to not give two hoots about what happens with your life post the refusal.

That’s not to say all the cabbies or auto riders are errant. Let’s say it’s roughly 70% of them (Am I being too lenient? Let me know).

There are two things the black and yellows can really do to successfully compete with private cabbies –

  1. Acknowledge the existence of the word ‘yes’:

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Say yes for a change. The very reduction in the number of passengers being refused could divert half of the uber/ola faithful to the black and yellows.

  1. Rent better cabs:

Who wouldn’t fancy going around in a Hyundai i10 as opposed to a worn out Premier Padmini?

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Better cars = Happier Customers = More Customers = More Income = Happier Cabbies

Hiring a cab is an event that can unfold in a number of ways..

Around the world, refusals aren’t the norm. You would never come across a taxi driver refusing customers saying, “Arey lekin mujhe idhar nahin, udhar jaana hai” or “Abhi gas bharne jaana hai” while in Tokyo or New York. It’s pretty routine that way – Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > off to destination.

The routine in Mumbai is rarely, if ever, the same. It could be like any of the following depending on a person’s luck/ astrological chart / destiny / determination/ persistence:

Case I:

Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > off to destination.

This event is as rare as an elephant in Antarctica (and is often considered hypothetical).

Case II:

Passenger arrives > opens door > gets into taxi > tells the driver where he wants to go > driver refuses > passenger requests > driver refuses > passenger requests > driver refuses > passenger begs > driver agrees > off to destination

Case III:

Passenger approaches taxi > Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver looks the other way and drives off without a response> Passenger feels like an idiot

Case IV:

Passenger approaches taxi >Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver refuses > Passenger threatens to take the driver to a police station for refusing>Driver doesn’t say a word > off to destination

Case V:

Passenger approaches taxi > Tells the driver where he wants to go > Driver refuses > Passenger leaves fuming > Somehow finds another cab > Lodges a complaint about the driver on RTO’s website> Hopes and prays the driver is punished or at least warned > Never gets any response with regard to the complaint > Same old miserable feeling!

No wonder every Mumbaikar has learned to make-do with the situation.

Inconveniencing thousands of Mumbaikars and subjecting passengers to hostile treatment will never do these guys any favors. Ola and Uber will do better than usual every time they stay off roads – Protesting against a service only to increase its demand is the epitome of irony!

When will they learn? Sooner than later I hope.

Go for glory!

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Regardless of whether you are a working professional, are a student or a sportsman, you’re ultimately doing it all for one thing – Glory. That winning feeling or the sense of accomplishment is so addictive, you never want to let go. But life has its own ways – throwing surprises at you all the time. Some of these are pleasant, some not so.

Let’s face it – getting your share of victory takes a good amount of work. And most of us are in for it, at least as long as it looks all easy peasy. The moment things start getting tough, we tend to back off; our inner defences are activated and our default survival mechanism kicks in, telling us not to do it because it’s apparently a threat.
This could apply to any situation that forces you to get out of your comfort zone – to each their own.

Yes, this so-called ‘survival mechanism’ is for real and research says it has been a part of the human instinct ever since our earliest ancestors walked the face of this planet. The fact that it’s still part of our instincts is a bit unfortunate for two reasons:

1. This is the 21st century for God’s sake. Back in the Stone Age, when man didn’t have a permanent home and wandered from one place to another, his survival instincts kept him wary of any approaching predators so that he could protect himself from any imminent threat.

Human life has come a long way since and we are not nomads anymore.

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Life’s obstacles are not hungry grizzly bears running at you like it’s lunch time.

2. A bunch of meteorites isn’t about to hit the planet anytime soon.

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So take a moment to calm down and free your mind of all the chaos.

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Because a lemur is insisting? Yeah right.

Sportsmen also crave their fix of glory. How often do you see an ambitious batsman trying to hit the ball for a six, only to get out caught? Or a footballer trying to dribble past four defenders, only to be brought down by a well-timed tackle?

Of course, the hunt for glory doesn’t always end in failure. And we deserve to seek the best for ourselves, even if it involves a slight degree of risk.

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So don’t judge how things may end, and try taking the leap of faith.
The uncertainty involved gives you a rush of adrenaline. You might succeed or at most fail, but that’s as bad as it gets and you still live another day having learned from the experience.

Many of us look at successful people and feel a sense of awe. They have an aura of greatness to them. What many of us fail to realise though, is that none of them have been overnight successes. Your path to glory has to entail consistent effort.

This TED talk tells you how to NOT achieve your dreams. 

Nationalism alert!

Indians around the world are making it big these days – and while that gives me immense pride to be a compatriot, I have also derived a huge amount of inspiration from them. Be it Sundar Pichai, Satya Nadella, Indra Nooyi or someone else – they have all had to work their way to the top with a lot of effort and patience. So let’s pledge to never give up on our hunt for glory, for it could be just around the corner when all hope seems lost.

So..

Each one of us is on their own journey. They say, the soul is eternal and keeps transcending from one realm to the next. Our time as humans on earth is one of those realms.Make the most of this time to dream, do and achieve. Stop being so afraid of falling short, and even if you do, be sure you know that everyone does at some point.

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True glory comes not from never falling, but rising every time you fall.

“And why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

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Well, couldn’t have skipped that. Batman flicks have taught me so much.