Motivation

Letting Go

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This has been a raging debate in my mind for some time now. 

What am I really supposed to be okay with and make peace with? What’s the ultimate formula for a peaceful existence? Is it learning to be okay with uncertainty? Or is chasing absolute certainty with regard to every outcome in life fully justified?

I think chasing absolute certainty can often be a lost cause, because that simply isn’t how life works. Yes, you get what you put out into the world more often than not. But sometimes, life can have other plans. I know it is fairly commonplace for a lot of things in people’s lives to not pan out exactly as they had imagined them to. And as unfair as that may feel sometimes, the key might just be to be okay with that—maybe not immediately, but eventually. 

Learning to embrace or simply live with uncertainty can often be nightmare fuel for the anxious mind. The infinite number of ‘what-if’ scenarios that can come to mind is almost akin to witnessing a multiverse of sadness. It is easy to imagine everything that could possibly go wrong, because most minds are trained to think in that direction.

But maybe there is another approach to making peace with a certain degree of uncertainty. 

Maybe that is to just embrace inevitability. 

Maybe the key is to accept that the way things happen is fairly uncertain in life. To me, just having an inner sense of knowing that everything will work out is what constitutes embracing the inevitable. That sense of knowing, that gut feeling, is ultimately what leads to flow—positive action without unhealthy attachment or expectation. It is where one begins to find that every layer of unfolding, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in the moment, is contributing to one’s highest good in a way one can only possibly see several days, weeks, months, or even years later.

An aversion to accepting a certain degree of uncertainty or embracing inevitability often comes from a sense of urgency driven by fear. Urgency isn’t usually driven by intent. True positive intent values consistency of action, not the immediacy of the desired outcome. 

Maybe it’s all coming together. And maybe not in the way you’ve always imagined or the way anyone else has imagined. And that is okay. Being overly invested in the “how” is a recipe for lifelong disappointment. Much of the universe is beyond our wildest imaginations, and so are most of our lives, and that is exactly what makes the journey as exhilarating as it can be.

Dilemma

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I am not sure if any of you have been through this, but I have over the years and continue to. Man is a social animal and conversations are a significant part of our lives. You might talk about current affairs, sports, your favourite TV series or movie, careers, family issues or relationship concerns. While most of your conversations would obviously be in the company of a friend, colleague or relative, there are some which are limited to the confines of your minds.

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You wouldn’t usually declare this to anyone around you at that point in time because it might seem irrelevant or just plain crazy. “You need a shrink” is not even the last thing you want them to tell you.

Everybody talks to themselves about something or the other, sometimes in their minds and sometimes, out loud. If you say you don’t, you’re a liar!

(Still in denial? Let me help you change that. Click here)

In my case, the questioning never stops. It’s not that I am fond of disagreeing with widely accepted norms; but my curiosity always gets the better of me. When someone tells me to do a certain thing a certain way just for the heck of it, they can always expect me to counter question, out loud or otherwise.

I have a great fondness with talking to myself. Especially when I travel, this becomes very obvious. I am always looking around and talking to myself about anything and everything I see. It could be anything – hurling abuses at an idiot causing traffic snarls, ‘reviewing’ a hoarding, pitying a dilapidated building or just my views on a tree by the roadside. I don’t make sense half of the time and that’s okay – because I am the only one who’s ‘listening’ which means no one’s going to judge either.

When it comes to social interactions though, I think and analyze everything I am about to say, perhaps to avoid making a fool of myself. But as it often turns out, it doesn’t work – not for me, at least. People often get frustrated by my lack of conversational participation. Those are situations where they would love to know and hear more of me, but I won’t let them for some stupid fear of appearing to be less than a skilled conversationalist.

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I have come to discover that going with the flow can feel a lot better and while I might still make a fool of myself, it could be worth the risk.

Awkward silences have haunted me eternally – those are moments when I am trying to collect myself and utter a few words without any erratic pronunciations resulting from the dread of being murdered for uttering something that could only be regarded as immensely nonsensical. (In other words, I take the proof-reading bit too far) My apologies for all the awkwardness if you have experienced any while I struggled to let out a syllable.

I tend to run out of things to say faster than most people would, and that’s not because I speak too fast.

I tend to contemplate if my utterances would really interest the other person. Now, this will not be the case if I am absolutely, undoubtedly, positively sure that you would be – this applies to formal meetings. I can be great at formal meetings, but the informal ones? well..

(You might read this and wonder why I feel the need to be a designer and not an analyst – for all the knack to be analytic of every single thing). 

I also get fascinated by people who can literally talk all day. That must be some talent. Yes, to me, the ability to make small talk is talent.

I’ve tried defining myself as an introvert, only to realize that I wasn’t doing the definition enough justice. Unlike most introverts, I enjoy going out with people and I could spend a lot of time interacting with the lot that has me company so long as we click. But there are times, when I just need to be by myself.

Ambivert might apply, but it’s not something I fancy. I am trying not to give myself a label.

The advent of this blog has been the beginning of an adventure in many ways. A journey of self-discovery, of getting to know myself a lot better along the way while also giving myself something to look forward to each weekend. With each article, I learn to accept myself (quirks included) a wee bit more.

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And in a journey of self-discovery and acceptance, if this isn’t success, what is?

Go for glory!

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Regardless of whether you are a working professional, are a student or a sportsman, you’re ultimately doing it all for one thing – Glory. That winning feeling or the sense of accomplishment is so addictive, you never want to let go. But life has its own ways – throwing surprises at you all the time. Some of these are pleasant, some not so.

Let’s face it – getting your share of victory takes a good amount of work. And most of us are in for it, at least as long as it looks all easy peasy. The moment things start getting tough, we tend to back off; our inner defences are activated and our default survival mechanism kicks in, telling us not to do it because it’s apparently a threat.
This could apply to any situation that forces you to get out of your comfort zone – to each their own.

Yes, this so-called ‘survival mechanism’ is for real and research says it has been a part of the human instinct ever since our earliest ancestors walked the face of this planet. The fact that it’s still part of our instincts is a bit unfortunate for two reasons:

1. This is the 21st century for God’s sake. Back in the Stone Age, when man didn’t have a permanent home and wandered from one place to another, his survival instincts kept him wary of any approaching predators so that he could protect himself from any imminent threat.

Human life has come a long way since and we are not nomads anymore.

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Life’s obstacles are not hungry grizzly bears running at you like it’s lunch time.

2. A bunch of meteorites isn’t about to hit the planet anytime soon.

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So take a moment to calm down and free your mind of all the chaos.

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Because a lemur is insisting? Yeah right.

Sportsmen also crave their fix of glory. How often do you see an ambitious batsman trying to hit the ball for a six, only to get out caught? Or a footballer trying to dribble past four defenders, only to be brought down by a well-timed tackle?

Of course, the hunt for glory doesn’t always end in failure. And we deserve to seek the best for ourselves, even if it involves a slight degree of risk.

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So don’t judge how things may end, and try taking the leap of faith.
The uncertainty involved gives you a rush of adrenaline. You might succeed or at most fail, but that’s as bad as it gets and you still live another day having learned from the experience.

Many of us look at successful people and feel a sense of awe. They have an aura of greatness to them. What many of us fail to realise though, is that none of them have been overnight successes. Your path to glory has to entail consistent effort.

This TED talk tells you how to NOT achieve your dreams. 

Nationalism alert!

Indians around the world are making it big these days – and while that gives me immense pride to be a compatriot, I have also derived a huge amount of inspiration from them. Be it Sundar Pichai, Satya Nadella, Indra Nooyi or someone else – they have all had to work their way to the top with a lot of effort and patience. So let’s pledge to never give up on our hunt for glory, for it could be just around the corner when all hope seems lost.

So..

Each one of us is on their own journey. They say, the soul is eternal and keeps transcending from one realm to the next. Our time as humans on earth is one of those realms.Make the most of this time to dream, do and achieve. Stop being so afraid of falling short, and even if you do, be sure you know that everyone does at some point.

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True glory comes not from never falling, but rising every time you fall.

“And why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

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Well, couldn’t have skipped that. Batman flicks have taught me so much.

Getting There

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Mainstream media and the internet are full of fitspirations these days. Blog articles, fitness pages on social media and numerous TV shows are vying to get fitness mantras and to-dos across to an increasingly impressionable audience mainly comprising of the youth. All of the mayhem can ultimately affect us, no matter how hard we try not to let it.

As a person who considered himself to be of the overweight variety about four months ago, I had to make a conscious decision to get fitter and leaner. I have made some progress since, but I have had my share of hiccups en route to a fitter self over the years. Here’s to all of those..

1. Walk, Jog, Run, Repeat..

As an amateur in the workout world, extensive exercise was my go-to solution. I would do extensive bouts of cardio at every chance I got. I’d cover 8 kilometres a day and still end up doubting if my efforts were paying. Needless to say, they never did.

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Don’t be surprised. I was never consistent with my efforts then. I’d run on a Monday, then skip workout for the next 3 days owing to sheer lack of motivation and the supposed “lack of time” that was a product of my imagination.

As a result, I never got ‘results’. (Yes, I am great at puns)

It was only when I decided to buck up did things change bit by bit. Yes, running around parks these days is nothing short of an obstacle course – too many merry makers walking in groups, leaves a small part of the track to joggers.

However, take it or leave it are the only choices you have mate!

2. Green Tea – The Frenemy.

A close friend once suggested green tea as a health drink. It’s supposed to help you lose weight and also detox your body. Sounds good, eh?

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The description was impressive. The taste wasn’t.

My first trial with green tea didn’t end well. I actually had to eat a chocolate post that cup of tea to rid my mouth of the horrid taste. (Imagine the irony! A health drink that makes you eat a bar of chocolate)

I have shared a love-hate relationship with it since. I still drink it at times, oft forcefully than willingly.

Just for the record, I have also tried black coffee since and I find it more bearable.

3. Those elusive gym sessions..

Gym memberships that count for nothing were my forte once upon a time. I have had instances when in a three month membership, I have been to the gym for just one.

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Giving up too soon, expecting overnight results and not giving your body the time it needs can have adverse effects (on your health as well as your state of mind).

As of now, not thinking too far into the future and taking those gym sessions one at a time seems to be working well.

4. To eat or not to eat?

Trying to regulate your eating habits can be an uphill task when you’ve just started off.

There are times when I am good at it. More often than not though, I tend to give in to my temptations and wallow in regret soon after. The guilt however, lasts only for five minutes.

No matter how strict my diet plans are, you can always serve me a scoop of frozen dessert and watch me go weak in the knees.

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              Ice cream wins on most days and might well continue to.

5. Clothing crisis..

The sad bit about losing those extra pounds – too many oversized pieces of clothing in your wardrobe.

They can make you look like anything from a sumo wrestler to a hippie.

The solution – Gain all the flab you have lost in the form of muscle and voila! They’re perfect again.

I hope to get there, eventually.

#MustKeepWorking

6. Desperation

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Unlike Bruce Wayne, I have tasted desperate. There was a point in time when, if someone had told me that walking upside down all day helps you lose weight, I would probably have done that.

7. YouTube Videos

Before I had my gym membership, I depended on YouTube to train me on my way to fitness.

Before you undermine this idea, let me tell you that YouTube has a decent collection of channels dedicated to fitness – I chose one that focused on bodyweight training.

This one

This one

I was all pumped up and ready to go when I saw these videos. They had exercises for every muscle group.

It was only after I started doing these exercises, did I realise, that I was running out of breath halfway through those sessions. Just 15 minutes into those workouts, (with plenty of resting between sets) I would be huffing and puffing as if I had done a full blown tabata session – I was wishing I could head out to the market and buy myself some stamina. (If only that could actually happen)

The road to a fitter version of you is one laden with challenges at every step. However, I believe that determination and dedication along with a spoonful of consistency can get you there. Diet plans might crash, you might inevitably miss your workout on some days and on some others, dragging yourself out of the cosiness of your bed might be a challenge in itself.

Ask yourself, is giving up even a choice?

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This guy \m/

If you do find an answer and an easier way out, let me know please.